TIP #1—Live in Reality, Not With a Fantasy
TIP #2—Have a Plan (007 Always Did)
TIP #3—Establish Dating Standards
TIP #4—Understand Intimacy (We’re Wired for It)
TIP #1—Live in Reality, Not With a Fantasy
Ideas for Great Dates (Movies Don’t Count!)
- Go for a hike
- Plan a scavenger hunt
- Go to the mall and see how many items you can buy for $5.00
- Plan a progressive dinner with friends
- Make a movie
- Explore a museum
- Go to a sporting event
- Attend a community theater
- Rent a canoe or paddle boat
- Have picnics at local and state parks
- Take a cooking class
- Learn a new video game or computer program
- Mentor a younger teen
- Go shopping and cook a meal together
- Try a new sport
- Paint with your feet
- Train for a tri-athlon
- Go to the zoo
- Go to an amusement park
- Perform a service project for someone in need
- Write a creative story
- Learn a musical instrument
- Play at a park or playground
- Research your families' histories
- Brainstorm your own list together of fun things to do!
TIP #2—Have a Plan (007 Always Did)
Great dates don’t just happen, they have to be planned. Avoid the potential pitfalls of being alone on a date. Before you go out, plan ahead:
• Set your agenda. Don’t be bored. Your time is valuable, make it worth your while.
• Set your budget. Figure out how much money you have to spend, and plan accordingly. Take a bus tour of the city. A few dollars can have you entertained for an afternoon.
• Be creative. Don’t worry about being silly. Some of your best memories will be of when you acted silly in front of strangers.
• Don’t go it alone. Find other friends to join in the adventure. The more people, the more memories you’ll make.
TIP #3—Establish Dating Standards
- Set boundaries for your physical relationship before you go on the date.
- Boys and girls are jointly responsible for setting and maintaining limits.
- Verbally communicate your boundary to your partner.
- You can stop at any step of intimacy—physical intimacy does not have to progress.
- Have self-control.
- Consider your manner of dress and stay sober.
- Use non-verbal and verbal refusal skills if needed.
- Avoid dangerous or tempting situations like being alone in an empty house.
TIP #4—Understand Intimacy (We’re Wired for It)
What is intimacy?
Intimacy is a basic need to know and be deeply known. It is the building of a close friendship over time.
The more time you spend with another person, the more the emotional intimacy develops. At the lowest level of intimacy, (which you are at with most people) facts and information are shared.
As your intimacy grows, you share opinions (both yours and others) and discuss more intimate topics. At the highest level you usually only have a small number of people—those considered your best friends.
When guys and girls are interested in each other, they begin to develop intimacy (or friendship). They may choose to express their “interest or feelings” by moving to the area of sexual intensity. If they are not at the highest level of intimacy, this can slow down or even stop the building of that friendship and emotional intimacy because the intensity of the sexual feelings makes them feel closer than they really are.
How’s Your Intimacy?
For couples who are having problems in marriage, counselors will sometimes recommend three months of no sex. This helps them rebuild the intimacy that is lacking.
Teens who are in sexually active relationships can test the intimacy of their relationships by taking an intimacy test—stop having sex for three months and see if the relationship lasts.
